Brian's Significant Human Mike Lindley with hisColonel MustardT-Shirt
Here's the story. For more than two weeks I'd been suffering from anxiety and depression but being a carer for my wifeLynnwho has severe mental health issues and as an advocate of'it's good to talk'I phoned the localMinds Matterin St Helens helpline who after a long chat advised me to also contact my G. P. Which I did after Brian our dog strangely was pulling my hair hard for the first time ever whilst I slept and after waking me pulled at my hand. I was suffering from an all-encompassing lethargy I couldn't shake off or wake from normally. Did he know something I didn't? This on the same day I saw the tragic news fromFrightened Rabbitthat Scott had gone missing suffering from mental health related issues. The upshot was I was now in a hospital bed struggling to type this non-music related blog via mobile phone having been diagnosed with brain swelling and a tumour and swearing at predictive text! As always with a Ralph's Life blog follow the coloured links to take you for more information.
THE SYMPTOMS: Initially things started to manifest in the form of anxiety and bouts of depression however there were also physical signs like a slight dragging of my feet, a tendency to sway back to my left and spill drinks due to a hand tremor. These were things more picked up on byLynnwho was becoming concerned as it was accompanied by a slight droop on the left hand side of my face too (it's important to listen to someone close to you as they can spot the changes to your usual demeanour, things by human nature you may want to ignore) so I made the decision to have a word with my GP. The strangest of all the symptoms that began to manifest itself was a strange smell that was apparent only in my head and which brought about a palpable sense of fear almost of some terrible latent memory. Brain tumours can also bring about a sense of deja vu so there's something to watch out for! Steroids have helped to abate these feelings currently prior to my operation for which I have been called in for on Friday June 1st. One handy thing about the insomnia steroids bring, is it's giving me time to playlist and pre-record Brian's Indie Show onRadio KCwhich will go out on Sunday June 3rd 5-7pm and you can listen then via this linkrkc.noip.mewhilst I'm in Walton Hospital in Liverpool (one of the top neurological hospitals in the world) recovering from the operation. I'm thankfully OK with the operation and looking forward to a full recovery and life ahead. I've had some amazing messages from people via my social media including DJ Producer Mark Osborne akaMonolifewho has survived 2 such operations and continues to create music! May 27th:
Brian in the sun
I've been allowed out of hospital on steroids until the operation on Friday 8th June so I'm heading up to Edinburgh on Monday to nip over and visit my Auld Mammy for a couple of days and break the news. I can't believe how well I feel today thanks to the steroids and am thankful for some days of normality prior to what's to come. I've always been a practical person so I'm pretty'down with it'so far ably supported by my wifeLynnand family includingLisawho's been an immense help. Next update maybe with the odd picture shall be in hopefully sunny Edinburgh and Brian is off to stay with his'grandparents'for a couple of days to get spoiled! May 28th:
Me and Brian on the morning I left for surgery
Well it's off to Edinburgh to see my Mum whose 87 now and not to say goodbye but trying to find the best way to tell her about my unexpected health development and how best to help her think through it, especially as I fully intend to come out the other side after the big operation to remove the tumour at the end of the week. Just given Brian a hug outside and he'll be staying with relatives for a few days so I'll miss the wee guy. Steroids are keeping me pain free and very clear headed although they do give you insomnia to an extent. A handy thing though when you've got a blog to write! Watch this space for more and have a listen toTrue Datmy train funk track.
May 29th:
Edinburgh
Well here's me and my wifeLynnand absolute rock through this journey in Edinburgh after we'd been to break the news of my brain tumour to my Mum as best we could. Thankfully she processed it as well as can be expected and needless to say we'll keep her informed along the way. It's important that you keep family and friends well informed. They can be such a help support-wise. The steroids I'm on pre-operation at the end of the week are a continued blessing and'keeping me real'to enjoy this time in Edinburgh with Lynn normally.
May 30th:
Venison
Spent a wonderful night in Edinburgh last night sharing an amazing meal inCafe St Honore(highly recommended) thanks to the steroids which seem to be keeping me stable right now. It's been important to me to feel'normal'and to be able to spend so much quality time withLynnin this city we love and got married in.
I received a phone call from my surgeon yesterday and he has me booked in for the operation on Friday June 3rd and that's actually helped me focus more on what's important. That involved hitting the credit card and sod the circumstances on a memorable meal with Lynn. I'll be booking intoWalton Hospitalfrom 7.15am and the operation when it takes place only lasts 2 hours 30 minutes approximately so I'm hoping to be done and dusted in time for dinner coming round and be able to update the blog later though not looking forward to predictive text again! My Mum's fine to and I look forward to giving her a call of reassurance. JUNE 1st
Me Lynn& Lisa
Well it's 5.46 am and I'm packing my bag and heading to the Walton Hospital in Liverpool. I look forward to recovering from the anesthetic enough to bring you an update on the result of my operation to remove my little friend from my head. The messages on my social media have been of great comfort and I start this journey buoyed by good vibrations on the sea of life. My Mum coped with the news better than I could have hoped. Family have been wonderful here helping and supporting myself and Lynn and I also look forward to hugs all round once I'm back in the land of the living! JUNE 5th
Post-Op
The operation was a success and the tumour Removed which means chemo soon to help avoid a recurrence. I went under at 9am this morning and was in recovery and awake by 6pm. So that's given me time to write my first blog update via my mobile right now! June 3rd The deed is done and I cannot speak highly enough of the skills care and attention herein the NHS Walton Centre Liverpool especially my surgeon Mr Andrew Brodbelt.
Brian The Dog
Music blogging and newRadio KCradio shows are suspended for a bit so watch this space for more news on me the human and Brian will be Twittering regularly so keep up on@fruitbatwalton! I got out hospital today for a meeting with my surgeon and he's operating to remove the tumour on Friday June 8th which has now been brought forward to June 3rd) and it'll be chemo& onwards and upwards for many years, so now shall mostly be listening toBlue Rose Code'Grateful'....
JUNE 6th:
Mr Andrew Brodbelt
My surgeon for the operation and ongoing care wasMr Andrew BrodbeltatWalton Centrein Liverpool and I cannot express enough admiration and gratitude to the skill and dedication as well as the confidence he instilled in me. Details about him can be found by clickinghere. The staff atThe Walton Centreare a true credit to the NHS in the UK and it is the top neurological centre in the country so it has been a blessing to live just 20 minutes drive away especially thanks to the support of my extended family here in St Helens whom I love dearly. I cannot tell you just how good I feel today despite having had a brain tumour removed only 6 days ago, and I go to visit Mr Brodbelt tomorrow for a consult on my further treatment which will involve a period of chemotherapy to avoid any recurrence. June 7th:
Mr Andrew Brodbelt - Neurosurgeon
Well I've just returned from a post operative meeting with my surgeonMr Andrew Brodbelt. He's delighted with my recovery progress so far and from now the steroids will be reduced in preparation for a reasonably lengthy period of Radiotherapy and Chemotherapy. The chemo will be outpatient atClatterbridgeon The Wirral near Liverpool and very aggressive followed by a period of chemo in tablet form which can be done at home which is a real blessing, and monitored by weekly visits toClatterbriddge. The upshot of our meeting was that I got so see a scan of the inside of my head where you could see where he'd scooped out all offending matter successfully and it was also apparent from having seen previous scans that there was no further cancerous materials in evidence. The tumour has left me with raging flatulence though, who knew? My surgeon did and warned me about it! JUNE 8th:
Post-Op Scar
Mr Brodbeltis a very confidence inspiring man. Quiet calm, assured and of course highly knowledgeable. He has imbued in me a sense of calm and assurance that I am going to make a full recovery and enjoy a long happy life. That's an important part of enabling my mind to help in the recovery process, removing any stress or anxiety. I feel good within myself. I go to get my stitches out on Monday morning and can't wait to get home for a shower and wash my hair! JUNE 9th: I was able to do an ordinary thing today that felt so extraordinary. I was able to go to St Helens town centre and stroll round the shops with my beautiful wifeLynnand sit outside in the sunshine enjoying a coffee. The little things seem to count for so much now! Vanity made me wear a baseball cap. I was interviewed by local paperThe Starand it went live online today and you can read that by clicking onTHIS LINK.
June 10th: Down side is, just in case of any epilepsy following the operation my Driving Licence has been suspended for two years. On the plus side I'v had a visit today from Angela who plays in London bandBUGEYE who drove to meet with friends in Liverpool and was so lovely as she came to visit me. You can listen toBUGEYEimmediately below today's report.
Monday 11th June:
Well today sees the start of a new week and I go to get my stitches out. I can't wait to get a proper shower. The ironically worst thing about this process is the post-operation Thrush I have developed from my revovery in hospital post-op.
It's in my throat and makes every mouthful of food a torture. Swallowing is beyond difficult and there's a constant burning. I'm on medication for it but it works very slowly.
That's my early morning moan over. Stich removal here I come at 9.30am. JUNE 11th Spent yesterday in the company of my beautiful wife Lynn doing something so ordinary it was extraordinary. Got a taxi into town to get my stitches out but first a treat and visitedLily's Victorian Tea Roomsfor coffee and some excellent scones with Jam and Clotted Cream. Outstanding! The stitches are now out and there's some fluid swelling behind the wound but no discomfort or need for worry. Looking forward to Thursday coming when I visit my Oncologost at Walton Neurological Unit in Liverpooll for details about my Radiation Therapy and Chemotherapy.
June 12th:
I had the privileged honour of taking part in this video by the students of St Helens Lanchpad services who despite their own mental health issues made this video to raise awareness of mental health problems in the North West where my hometown of St Helens has h for times higher suicide rate than the rest of the UK.
June 14th:
Mike& Lynn my beautiful wife and rock through this journey
So two days have gone by since my last post with much happening. Stitches out without a problem although the Thrush infection in my throat still rages. However had the shower and felt human again!
I visit my oncologist today where I'll get details of my radiotherapy and chemo treatment which will start soon. Can't say I'm looking forward to that but it's a necessary evil. Radiotherapy will be out-patient, but the good news is chemo is by tablet and can be done at home being monitored once a week.
JUNE 18th Well I've been quiet for a few days due to feeling a tad wearier than I have been, so apologies for being a bit behind, but... It was my Birthday yesterday as well as Fathers Day on the 17th and my lovely Family whisked myself and Lynn to the Abbey Pub in St Helens for a celebratory drink and it was a wonderfull day filled with presents and love. Unforgettable! JULY 4th: Well a lot has gone on in the last few weeks, none more so than I managed to lock myself out Google and it's been a nightmare trying to get back, but...here I am with stories to tell!!! That would include my new ice cream addiction and the start of my radiotherapy treatment followed by chemotherapy. So far so good treatment-wise which started yesterday.No adverse symptoms yet. Good news for my wife I'm still cooking! August 6th: Well much has happened in the last few weeks that I've been unable to document due to having been a full-time inpatient at Clatterbridge Cancer Care Hospital on The Wirral near Liverpool, and I miss my wife so much. I'll be filling you in on how that's been over the rest of this week, but the story starts right here. In order for my complete recovery as the tumour was very aggressive I'm on radio and chemo therapy however that's the reason I'm now in a hospital as an in patient due to it raising my insulin levels to a point when I'm borderline diabetic which was causing me serious health problems that needed taking care of in hospital. I'll outline symptoms, and apologise here for how it affected me to my wife Lynn and how it had made me behave badly to her in lack of understanding and short temperedness. She has been amazing during this journey we share.
August 12th: Apologies for the break in between Aug 1st and today, but here's the thing. Due to the onset of diabetes, ironically caused by my chemo treatments destined to save my life, I've got hypoglycaemia which ironically could kill me due to low or high blood sugar, hospitalised in Liverpool's cancer care unit Clatterbridge without delay for treatment over and above my radiotherapy and Chemo. Not all bad though as the food's great! Here's the serious stuff, information about:
Hyperglycaemiais having too much glucose (sugar) in your blood. Why am I telling you this in relation to my brain tumour I hear you ask? Well what they didn't tell me was that the treatment by chemo would induce diabetes. That was until mo Oncologist Consultant Mr Husband cheerfully informed me that the Diabetes could kill me too quicker than the cancer.
I did initially have some quite extreme symptoms which fortunately my wife Lynn spotted and it was off to my GP the quickly to hospital where I spent the rest of my treatment time as an in-patient to control safely my Diabetes. I'm thankfully now at home after 2 months.
Diabetes can also happen for many reasons, such as:
Not having enough insulin or diabetes tablets
being less active than usual
eating too many carbohydrates, found in sugary foods and drinks, and other foods such as potatoes, bread and pasta.
Being sick or taking other medicine
being stressed having an infections (e.g. thrush, cystitis, wound infections) drinking too much alcohol
If you have type 2 diabetes, an occasional high blood glucose level is not a problem. But if your blood glucose level remains high for a few days or if you are sick, contact your doctor or Credentialed Diabetes Educator.
If you have type 1 diabetes, it?s important that you act on hyperglycaemia. If not treated, a high blood sugar level can lead to a serious condition called diabetic ketoacidosis.
Here are some steps you can take if you find your blood sugar level is higher than it should be.
Get plenty of rest.
Contact your doctor or Credentialled Diabetes Educator for advice about increasing your dose of short acting insulin. You may also need extra doses of this insulin (e.g. 2-4 units every 2 hours).
Check your urine for ketones if you have the necessary equipment. Always test using urine that you have just freshly passed, otherwise you may not get a true reading.
Drink plenty of sugar-free, non-alcoholic fluids such as water to stay well hydrated. Try to avoid alcohol and drinks containing caffeine, such as cola, tea and coffee, as these can dehydrate you.
you find moderate to high levels of ketones in your urine
August 15th: An interesting fact about Fruit and Diabetes:
Fruit: Of course, it's a healthy go-to snack, and you should be eating a few servings of it every day. But not everything from the farmers? market is created equal.
Some of the most commonly purchased fruits are actually the highest in sugar, like bananas (18 grams of sugar per cup) and grapes (15 grams). Ditto tropics-born favorites like mango (23 grams) and pineapple (16 grams).
To get a better idea of which fruits will be less likely to cause a blood sugar spike, nutritionist Katrin Lee, MS, RD, founder of Simply Nutrition, recommends analysing the rest of the nutrition facts.
August 19th Apologies again for the less than daily updates, however we're back on course as I was discharged from Clatterbridge on Friday 17th August at 6.15pm. Returned home via patient transport to my lovely wife to continue treatment at home with only weekly initiall until going on to monthly clinic visits to monitor my blood platlet count. It couldn't be any better. Currently I'm cancer free! More info about diabetes tomorrow. Took Lynn out for a meal at The Sticky Wicket restaurant last night! Ordinary made Extraordinary! Excellent meal.
The serious stuff.....
Brain Tumour Diagnosis
How a brain tumour diagnosis is made with thanks toThe Brain's Trustfor the information:
The bones of the skull hide brain tumours. You cannot feel or see them during a routine examination. Scans produce pictures that suggest a particular type of tumour. And fortunately we have lots of weaponry to diagnose brain tumours without invading the body. But the only reliable way to an accurate diagnosis is to examine a sample of a tumour under a microscope, so a biopsy (link to the biopsy section further down the page) will sometimes need to be done. If this type of examination is not possible, an educated assumption is made based on available test results.
If there is a suspicion that there might be a brain tumour, then your doctor has a whole host of diagnostic weaponry, which will aid an accurate diagnosis. These tests determine firstly whether you have a brain tumour and then, if you do, what type of tumour.
MRI scan ? magnetic resonance imaging. This uses magnetic and radio waves, so no exposure to X-rays or any damaging forms of radiation. An MRI scan takes pictures from any direction. Contrast agents (usually gadolinium) can be used to delineate the lesion. These are usually injected into the arm during thescan. This has made some of our patients feel sick but this could be the thought of the injection. Needles are scary things.
Just a word about pacemakers; you may not be able to have an MRI scan if you have a pacemaker fitted or other metal objects in your body but alternatives are offered. Some new pacemakers are MRI compatible though? you will need to check with your cardiologist.
The scan will last about 45 minutes and can be noisy. Some hospitals let you listen to a CD so take one just in case.
Other tips? wear warm clothing; it can be chilly in the room. You will need to take off jewelry and anything else metal. This includes underwired bras and jeans with studs in.
If you have a child undergoing an MRI scan, get them to imagine they are going into a space capsule.
You should receive the results within two weeks. Privately, you can have the scan and reporting done on the same day, but private scans can be expensive. You can get one done privately with a report for a little over£200 ? it depends where you go.
CT scan ? computerised tomography. Instead of sending out a single x-ray through the body, several beams are sent simultaneously from different angles. The computer then processes the results showing them as a 2D picture. CT scans are less expensive and take less time than an MRI scan, but they have lowerresolution so could potentially not show some skull base and low grade tumours, as well as an MRI scan. So, if you have one type of scan rather than another, it is usually because one will be more suited to you.
A CT scan usually lasts around 20 minutes and is quieter than an MRI scan. You lie on a table and the scanner moves around your head. If you need a contrast scan, then an iodine-based contrast agent will be injected. This shows the?leaky? blood vessels in a tumour and enables the neuroradiologist to see the mass directly.
Other tips? Warm clothing is recommended; it can be chilly in the room. And if you are allergic to shellfish let the radiographer know, because some contrast agents contain iodine.
Reporting is usually done within two weeks. Again? this may be sooner if you have a private CT scan.
PET scan ? position emission tomography. Only a few hospitals in the UK have a PET scanner. This too produces a 3D image but in colour. The patient is given radiation via a medicine called a radiotracer. This goes to the part of the body that needs to be examined. The PET scan then detects radiation insidethe body and makes images that show how the radiation is being broken down. This type of scan is not generally used to diagnose a brain tumour, but it can provide additional information about the nature of the tumour. For example, it may help to determine the difference between a benign and malignant tumour because malignant tumours are more metabolically active (that means that within the tumour cells that are alive and growing, chemical reactions are happening within them). And it can show the effects of treatment. For more information about the difference between benign and malignant tumours visit anatomy and tumour types.
The scan itself takes about 30 minutes. About 40 minutes before the scan the patient is injected with a mildly radioactive substance which has no risk to the body as the level of radiation is very small.
SPECT ? single photon emission computed tomography. Similar to PET, a SPECT scan views how blood flows through arteries and veins in the brain. It differs though from a PET scan in that the chemical stays in your blood stream rather than being absorbed by surrounding tissues, thereby limiting the imagesto areas where blood flows. SPECT scans are cheaper and more readily available than higher resolution PET scans.
As with the PET scan, an injection of a small amount of radioactive tracer is given prior to the scan. Then you?ll be asked to rest for about 10-20 minutes until the tracer reaches your brain. Next you?ll lie comfortably on a scanner table while a special camera rotates around your head. You have to remain as still as possible so that the machine can get accurate pictures.
Other tip: be sure to drink plenty of fluids to flush out any tracer left in your body.
Angiography ? this shows the blood vessels in the brain ? the arteries, the veins and sinuses. Angiography will not feel any different to having a CT or MRI scan if it is done as a CT or MRI angiogram.
It can also be done with an injection of iodine dye into the femoral artery in the groin, which is then threaded through to the brain. This sounds worse than it is; a numbing agent is used and you may feel brief pain when the catheter is inserted. Sedation is sometimes given for this test.
You will feel a hot, flushed sensation lasting from 5 to 20 seconds as the images are taken. This may be repeated several times in order to view all necessary arteries, so this test can last several hours. You will need to be careful afterwards to prevent bleeding. In some instances, a puncture closure may be used which will allow you to get up and move around sooner.
Any invasive test carries risk. There is a very small risk of the catheter damaging your artery or loosening a piece of plaque lining the artery wall. And then there is the risk of sensitivity to the contrast agent used. The most common side effects from the iodine contrast are a brief metallic taste in your mouth and a feeling of warmth throughout your body.
All profit from the Livin'La Vida Bolton EP will be donated toThe Brain Tumour Charityin memory of Kevin Allen father of Mancheter musicianJordan Allenwho sadly passed away in on October 17th 2016 at the age of 56.
Brian's favorite video this week isFeral Fiveft:Sisteray'Algorithm Prison'Reconstructed, and it's one of the best single releases I've heard in the last two years! Post Electro Punk at it's absolute best! Feral Fiveprofess to playing Electro Punk Dance Music with snarling guitars, stabbing synths and ferocious beats, which they do in spades and this release is a tribute to that! Fellow LondonersSisteray(who were on the bill at theRalph's Life CDlaunch inProud Camdenas wereFeral Five) bring a fresh punky attitude to this single) Sisterayare an in your face post-punk live band who from the first chord dominate from the stage and take the crowd on a whirlwind journey of musical joy and a perfect match forFeral Fiveon this single release. Video Of The Weekthen for week commencing Monday 20th August. After a lifetime of listening to Pop Pap this is the real deal and deserves to dominate the airwaves and needless to say it's getting a spin onBrian'sNextRadio KCIndie Show of Sunday 26th August 20th.
Marina recently worked withThe Warm and Toasty Club, having been commissioned, along with co-writer Jules Fox Allen, to compose three songs based on the memories of residents at retirement complexes for the Coast To Coast Project. All three songs are now complete and you can support the wonderful work of The Warm and Toasty Club by buying the EP or one of the tracks.
Marina Florancecame to performing late in life, however, very soon after making the decision to"come out of the kitchen"to widen her audience she was awarded Arts Council funding, via the Escalator Project, to record adebutalbum, Somewhere Down The Line,using this as a platform she has since reached audiences never previously thought possible. She has had success with lots of radio play, including BBC6Music with Little Black CloudandThe Moon both of which were selected for the Tom RobinsonMixtapevia'Fresh On The Net'.
For the last yearSpring Break have been working on their debut album Tropicaledonia; a fusion of many styles, drawing influence from a rich palette of folk, funk, blues and jazz whilst all the while steeped in the cut and paste traditions of hip hop. Spring Break hope the musical diversity of the record will appeal to a wide range of tastes as it draws from the varied backgrounds of all the band members and collaborators.
Sitting somewhere between sleazy grunge and power indie, MeMe Detroit oozes sultry guitar driven hooks with a head turning vocal andMeMe Detroit has been pulling in fans with a magnetism that is both eloquent yet effortlessly cool.
Previous support slots include bands such as Dead Sea Skulls, Piano Wire, Fun Lovin'Criminals and Asylums. Stand out shows include The main stage at Moto GP, Silverstone, The O2 Academy, Dublin Castle, The Finsbury pub for Get In Her Ears and Jurassic Fields Festival
Rock category Finalist of the UK Songwriting Contest 2017 and Semi-Finalist of the USA led International Songwriting Competition, The Kut have announced a World Wide Record Deal with Cargo Records for their long-awaited debut albumValley of Thorns. Known for bringing some of the best independent albums to the fore, including those by The White Stripes, The Black Keys and Jonny Rotten?s Public Image Limited, Cargo Records have now put pen to paper and added The Kut to a long list of UK indie musicians to join their worldwide roster.
What is Home? is the debut album from Brownbear. Combining strong melodies and indie riffs that have come to be expected from the band with an added lyrical maturity, the album covers love, loss and life whilst questioning what exactly home is. The album is preceded by an addictive and accomplished single release by the band in the shape of Truth Without Consequence which is accompanied by an equally accomplished and stylish video.
Brownbear are a four-piece indie-rock outfit led by singer/songwriter Matt Hickman.
The Velvet Hands have long time been favourites for plays on the Ralph's Life Indie Show on Radio KC over the last few years and with the imminent release of a debut album on limited edition blue vinyl for Record Store Day and general release May 5th it would be rude not to check it out here on the blog.
We'll be featuring Sick Of Living on Brian's Indie Show on Radio KC Sunday 29th April as a pre-release spin of a track from the album Party's Over.
Having made a splash in 2016 and 2017 with airplay from luminaries such as BBC 6 Music, Steve Lamacq and rave reviews from the likes of God Is In The TV, female fronted, disco-punk band, Bugeye, return with their new single, I?m Not the One and a UK tour with sold out shows.
Taking obvious inspiration from early pop punk bands such as, Siouxsie and the Banshees and Altered Images with a visual nod to David Lynch and punch-drunk productions, I?m Not The One sees the band take on a slightly darker pop approach.
Like many bands before, Hey Bulldogbegan as a germ of an idea of main man Rob Manton. The multi-talented Manchester-based musician recorded the debut EP, New York City Blues, by himself with the help of a drum machine.
Before turning the project into a fully-fledged band, Manton created a buzz with the help of music websites and a variety of fanzines.
Leed?s nativesApollo Junctionare set to release their new singleBeginon May 18thvia self release. The track is a masterful re-working of the original release ofBeginfive years ago, bringing us a fuller, rounder more radio friendly single that's a guaranteed floor-filler.
The original is on theirBandcampbut you'll be able to hear a pre-release spin of the track on Brian'sRadio KC Indie Showof April 1st and that is no joke I promise you.
Millie had this to say about the video which touches on subject matter very close to our collective heart.
"I wrote Monster while I was in the middle of an anxiety attack. I felt like I had a monster behind me and inside of me chaining me down and feeding me all the nasty things you feed yourself - that you are worthless, pathetic, unloved, alone etc.
Brian's favourite video this week is a premiere of MonsterbyMillie Manders and The Shutup. Milliehad this to say about the video which touches on subject matter very close to our collective heart.
"I wroteMonsterwhile I was in the middle of an anxiety attack. I felt like I had a monster behind me and inside of me chaining me down and feeding me all the nasty things you feed yourself - that you are worthless, pathetic, unloved, alone etc.
I wanted to articulate that feeling somehow; The crippling, debilitating fear that comes with it. The irrationality of it and the confusion. Hopefully I have managed to get that across both sonically and lyrically with this track, and the video."
A review of the video of Monster by writer, spoken word performer and
"Through this video the outstandingly talented and creative Millie Manders has managed to relay a disturbingly accurate description of how it feels to be in the grip of the?Monster? that is an anxiety attack.
I say?disturbing? because, as someone who is host to such a monster herself, seeing that monster exposed so graphically through Millie?s hard hitting and factual experience is a reminder of just how real that monster is and how quickly and unexpectedly its parasitical tendrils can invade any of usat any time as it attempts to dominate and control.
In essence, I absolutely adored this video in all of its truth because not only could I see the monster through Millie?s behaviour I could hear it as Millie?s voice became intermittently darker the more possessed she became and the harder she had to fight.
And that is exactly how it feels to be in the monstrous clutches of an anxiety attack..
In fact, the next time I am struggling to explain to my GP just what I am going through I am going to show her this remarkable video by the unforgettable Millie Manders and I shall simply say?THIS!?.
What is Home? is the debut album from Brownbear. Combining strong melodies and indie riffs that have come to be expected from the band with an added lyrical maturity, the album covers love, loss and life whilst questioning what exactly home is. The album is preceded by an addictive and accomplished single release by the band in the shape of Truth Without Consequence which is accompanied by an equally accomplished and stylish video.
Brownbear are a four-piece indie-rock outfit led by singer/songwriter Matt Hickman.
Having made a splash in 2016 and 2017 with airplay from luminaries such as BBC 6 Music, Steve Lamacq and rave reviews from the likes of God Is In The TV, female fronted, disco-punk band, Bugeye, return with their new single, I?m Not the One and a UK tour with sold out shows.
Taking obvious inspiration from early pop punk bands such as, Siouxsie and the Banshees and Altered Images with a visual nod to David Lynch and punch-drunk productions, I?m Not The One sees the band take on a slightly darker pop approach.
Rock category Finalist of the UK Songwriting Contest 2017 and Semi-Finalist of the USA led International Songwriting Competition, The Kut have announced a World Wide Record Deal with Cargo Records for their long-awaited debut albumValley of Thorns. Known for bringing some of the best independent albums to the fore, including those by The White Stripes, The Black Keys and Jonny Rotten?s Public Image Limited, Cargo Records have now put pen to paper and added The Kut to a long list of UK indie musicians to join their worldwide roster.
Sitting somewhere between sleazy grunge and power indie, MeMe Detroit oozes sultry guitar driven hooks with a head turning vocal andMeMe Detroit has been pulling in fans with a magnetism that is both eloquent yet effortlessly cool.
Previous support slots include bands such as Dead Sea Skulls, Piano Wire, Fun Lovin'Criminals and Asylums. Stand out shows include The main stage at Moto GP, Silverstone, The O2 Academy, Dublin Castle, The Finsbury pub for Get In Her Ears and Jurassic Fields Festival
Leed?s nativesApollo Junctionare set to release their new singleBeginon May 18thvia self release. The track is a masterful re-working of the original release ofBeginfive years ago, bringing us a fuller, rounder more radio friendly single that's a guaranteed floor-filler.
The original is on theirBandcampbut you'll be able to hear a pre-release spin of the track on Brian'sRadio KC Indie Showof April 1st and that is no joke I promise you.
After setting the British guitar music scene alight with their riff-filled debut EP, hedonistic Hastings quartet Kid Kapichi return with their much vaunted EP Lucozade Dreams which is released tomorrow March 30th).
Having received support from the likes of Kerrang TV, MTV Rocks and London Evening Standard with their eponymous breakthrough debut EP, the rising indie rockers were being tipped off by industry experts as ones to watch.
For the last yearSpring Break have been working on their debut album Tropicaledonia; a fusion of many styles, drawing influence from a rich palette of folk, funk, blues and jazz whilst all the while steeped in the cut and paste traditions of hip hop. Spring Break hope the musical diversity of the record will appeal to a wide range of tastes as it draws from the varied backgrounds of all the band members and collaborators.
The Velvet Hands have long time been favourites for plays on the Ralph's Life Indie Show on Radio KC over the last few years and with the imminent release of a debut album on limited edition blue vinyl for Record Store Day and general release May 5th it would be rude not to check it out here on the blog.
We'll be featuring Sick Of Living on Brian's Indie Show on Radio KC Sunday 29th April as a pre-release spin of a track from the album Party's Over.
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Of course, it's a healthy go-to snack, and you should be eating a few servings of it every day. But not everything from the farmers? market is created equal.
