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Jo's Clothes
  Updated Wed, 18 Oct 2017 06:00:59 +0000
Description Lover of fugly shoes, animal print, leather hot pants, SJP, vodka and cake. Speaking up on all things IBS.
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Language en-GB
My 4 Old Faithful Ankle Boots
Category Fashion... Darling, Sweetie, ASOS, autumn, boots, glitter, leather, Marks and spencer, river island, snakeskin, velvet
Description: Ankle boot season is here and this fills me with more joy than it probably […]  more...

Ankle boot season is here and this fills me with more joy than it probably should. I adore Autumn. The crisp, sunny mornings. Orange leaves. Hot chocolate. Coat weather. Being able to wear all my boots again. Wahoo!

When it comes to boots, I like mine subtle. NOT. I’m all about colour, fugliness and a block heel. These four pairs take me from morning to night, never fail to put a smile on my face and get loads of compliments from strangers.

The Silver Space Boots
These give me some kind of super magical Bowie strut. There’s something very 70’s about the round toe, the zip the entire length of the front and the square block heel. I enjoy busting out my high-waisted denim flares with these and kick-ball changing (is this a thing?!) my way down the street.


The Red Dorothy Glitter Boots
These are the originals. I’ve had them for donkeys and wear them religiously. So much so, the bright red has faded and the glitter has started to wear off. Sad times. I wear these boots with anything, midi skirts, jeans, bare legs, tights, glitter socks. They can be dressed up, dressed down, it doesn’t matter. They always look fabulous and draw compliments from both work colleagues (they’ve become notorious) and strangers on the commute. These boots are 100% guaranteed to make me grin, no matter how pants I may be feeling on any given day.

They are pure joy to wear and look at.


The Black Velvet Boots
Velvet gives me the feels. If it was acceptable to sit and stroke my feet in these boots all day, I would. Pair velvet with silver glitter heels and you have a serious winner. My bestie Chez gifted me these for my thirtieth and she couldn’t have got it any more spot on. My collection was seriously missing a pair of black boots. Especially those with added pizzaz. And sparkle. But bringing sophistication because I lack that.

The Pink Snakeskin Boots
The heel on these is a little higher than the others, which means these bad boys are reserved for weekends when I don’t need to climb a bridge to get home from the station. Would you believe it if I told you these badass boots were from Marks and Sparks? Well believe it baby. Because it’s true. They make some banging shoes. I mean pink snake print. Yes.

That only leaves a floral shaped boot hole in my collection. Gimme the Gucci Marmont Fringed Floral Boots PURLEASE. And the £900 I’d need to afford them.

Sequin Socks Are a Thing and I Love Them
Category Fashion... Darling, Sweetie, ASOS, fashion, sequins, socks, sparkle
Description: Your eyes aren’t deceiving you. I am wearing socks covered in actual sequins. Yep, there are […]  more...

Your eyes aren’t deceiving you. I am wearing socks covered in actual sequins. Yep, there are silver sequins ALL OVER my socks. All of my dreams have come true.

This is the best day ever. Even better than that time I got married. Joking. Obviously. Our wedding was amazing but these socks…

First of all I have to give a major shoutout to my bestie Char, who alerted me to these sparkly beauties. Technically I think she sent me a link to the multicoloured version, which are more me, but because I was so blown away and massively skint (wedding, yawn) I didn’t act on the purchase immediately.

What a bloody mistake because by the time I got round to checking them out again, they’d only gone and sold out. However, don’t panic because they come in silver. COME TO MUMMA.

The down side is they’ll set you back £8. And, if I put my grown up hat on for a moment, I have no idea how you wash them. Maybe just turn them inside out, hide them in other clothes, throw ’em in and then hope for the best? Luckily I had some ASOS points saved up which meant I only had to part with a whopping £1.50 which didn’t hurt as much.

Who am I kidding. Of course I’d have paid the full £8. Sequin socks. I mean come on.

God, who even knows where I’m going with this post…

I digress.

I wear a size 5 and ordered a S/M which is somehow still very roomy. My feet look huge and the socks flop around a bit however, I will not let that deter me from loving them.

The sequins run up the front and round the ankle but not along the bottom, which is handy for when you’re trying to squeeze them into a pair of shoes.

I’m thinking I can get away with wearing my Coates slides for the foreseeable future with the addition of these dazzlers. I’ll definitely team them with my red glitter boots. Because you can have enough glitz. I also want to pair them with some peep-toe heels.

To be honest, I may never take them off. Ever.

Anyway, if you fancy joining the sparkly-foot brigade, get your pair here and then hit me up. We can start a club. It’ll be so much fun. I promise.

10 Reasons Pet Bunnies Are Everything
Category My Inner Ramblings, bunny, dwarf lop, Lils
Description: If you follow me anywhere on the Internet you may have noticed that Al and […]  more...

If you follow me anywhere on the Internet you may have noticed that Al and I are VERY proud owners of a pet bun. She is in fact treated like the Queen of the Coates family and our lives revolve around her. And, because we’ve had her for a good year now, I figured it’s about time I wrote a little somethin’ somethin’ on how she’s so much more than just cute to look at.



Ok, here goes.

1. Bunnies are super affectionate. If you give Lils enough tickles behind her ears and above her nose, she’ll cover your hand in appreciative licks. Stop and she’ll nudge her head back into your hands for you to continue. You scratch her back, she’ll scratch yours. Or something along those lines.

2. They’re mischievous and sassy and don’t you forget it. Lils regularly launches herself from the sofa to our coffee table in a bid to nibble every button off our Sky control and chew her way through our candle collection.

3. If you’ve had a shocker of a day and are in a mood from hell, a 10 minute bunny cuddle will transform you. Seriously. There’s something calming about rhythmically  stroking bunny fluff. As your bun starts to relax and settle into the attention you’ll feel your shoulders relax with theirs.

4. Anxiety who? Point 3 covers this but if it all feels like it’s getting too much or I’m having a massive wave of anxious thoughts, I go straight to Lils. She’s an instant mood calmer. She’ll hop over to meet me, run around my ankles until I crouch down to her level and then push her face into my hand for head rubs. How can that not make you smile?

5. Ever seen a bunny binky? It’s this amazing thing they do when at their happiest and consists of them leaping in the air, twisting their body and kicking their feet out. Guaranteed laughter all round.

6. The same goes for a bunny flop. One minute they’re standing, the next they’ve thrown themselves down onto their backs, before rolling over onto their front for a snooze. It’s adorable and strange and comforting.

7. If you have a house bun like Lils, you’ll be used to being greeted every morning by her clambering up the side of her pen, desperate to say hello. And looking for food. Always food.

8. I love a bit of arts and crafts to unwind and get to live this out every weekend when I build new distraction toys and cardboard houses. And that’s just for Al. I joke.

9. EARS! I’m a sucker for a Dwarf Lop – we had one, Flopsey, growing up –  and how soft their ears are. I love how sometimes Lils will clean her ears and one will get stuck upright. A-bloody-dorable.

10. Rabbits are intelligent little things and I swear they can sense your mood and react accordingly. They will also work out your food hiding places extremely quickly…

Re-homing Lils is without doubt one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.

As I write this she’s been taking laps of the living room before collapsing, all the while side-eyeing me to check I’m paying attention. CUTE.

My Wedding Day Highlights
Category Beach Wedding Vibes, antigua, beach wedding, bride, memories, wedding
Description: I’m not entirely sure how but we’ve been married a month already. I’ve had the […]  more...

I’m not entirely sure how but we’ve been married a month already. I’ve had the post-wedding blues, we picked ourselves back up with an epic party, I’ve made a scrapbook and we’ve just finished decorating our flat with our gifts. Which means it’s time to relive a few of my favourite memories from the day.

I feel obliged to say that as I type this post, I have the BIGGEST grin on my chops. And maybe slightly watery eyes. Slightly.

Our wedding day was without doubt, the best day. Ever. For so many reasons. We had a bit of a bumpy start with hurricane Irma hitting Antigua on the Tuesday before. We were incredibly lucky and the hotel staff absolutely amazing. If anything, Irma brought our wedding party even closer and made everyone even more determined to have an epic day. I spent the day of the hurricane in a constant stream of tears, mainly because we’d planned for two years, got our loved ones all the way to Antigua for a holiday and instead were facing a 12 hour room lock in.

After many hugs, rums and a hot bath, I stopped crying. We were able to push the wedding back a day later than planned to the 8th September and get married on the jetty followed by our reception on the beach. Exactly as we had hoped. It was truly magical.

Now, onto the good bits. My wedding day highlights ladies and gents… Grab me a tissue.

  • Waking up being bundled by my bestie Chez.
  • Going for brekkie with my two besties and seeing all of my family in the restaurant.
  • Getting ready with my five favourite ladies. My two besties, my big sis, my cousin and my mum.
  • Being totally pampered and spoilt at every moment.
  • Watching my bridesmaids reactions as they saw me in my dress for the first time.
  • Receiving a super sentimental gift from my cousin, auntie and mum.
  • Seeing Al waiting for me at the top of the dock.
  • Waiting at the end of the dock for what felt like 10 minutes because the saxophonist wasn’t quite ready.
  • Having all of the hotel guests watching and feeling part of it.
  • Walking down the aisle with my dad being whipped in the face by my veil.


  • Cheekily giving Al a smooch when I saw him and then getting told off for doing so.
  • The registrar being a total ledge, making everyone laugh and constantly saying “Alex, my brother” and taking his side.
  • Telling Al to take off his shades before we exchanged vows.
  • Looking round and seeing all our loved ones grinning right back at us.
  • Saying I do.
  • Being pronounced husband and wife.
  • Snogging the face off my new husband.
  • Having the heavens open as we were about to sign the paperwork and then having to run to the bar.
  • Or walk because I couldn’t run in my Choos. Or my dress.
  • My brother-in-law removing his shirt and offering it to protect my makeup.
  • The freedom of not caring that I was soaked, just laughing like a loon.
  • Squishing under shelter with our 41 guests and laughing at how everyone was drenched from head to foot.
  • Getting admiring ohhh and ahhhs from both my dress and my Choos.
  • Being told that the rain was a blessing on our marriage.
  • Having a saxophonist play our favourite songs. Signed, Sealed, Delivered anyone?
  • Watching the tidal surge from hurricane Jose wreak havoc with our tables on the beach.
  • Then laughing as is lapped at our guests feet while sitting at the beach reception.
  • Having to keep moving the tables closer and closer to ours until we were all practically sitting on top of one another.
  • My dad’s speech. The perfect mix of humour and sentiment, making me laugh and cry.
  • Nailing my speech about Al.
  • Al making me cry, grin and extremely proud during his.
  • Al calling me his soul mate.
  • Our best man getting his speech spot on, sharing stories about Al that were just perfect.
  • The food! We had a barbecue on the beach featuring the best jerk chicken.
  • The cake being 90% rum and 100% delicious.
  • Dancing with Al to Is This Love, by Bob Marley, on the steel drums for our first dance.
  • Feeling free and blissfully happy prancing around in the sand and the sea.
  • Throwing the bouquet. Technically it was more like launching the bouquet.
  • Doing the conger round the beach.
  • Walking through a confetti train on the beach.
  • My dress turning into a bloody heavy sandbag and needing to change.
  • Everyone constantly grinning, hugging and telling the person they were standing next to how much they loved them.
  • Having a go and auditioning for a place in the steel drummers band.
  • Walking back along the sand to our room with the biggest grins on our faces.
  • Knowing that Irma and José hadn’t got the better of us.
  • Being our own little team.
  • Mr and Mrs.

Can we do it all again now? Maybe minus the hurricanes.

I plan on posting a lot more around the wedding, from tips to planning a wedding abroad to our outfits, and I can’t wait to get my hands on our professional snaps and relive it.

I Took My IBS on Holiday and Survived, Until I Got Home
Category IBS and All Things Gut Health, gut health, health, holiday, ibs, irritable bowel syndrome, symprove
Description: Two weeks up until our flight I was having daily issues with my IBS. I […]  more...

Two weeks up until our flight I was having daily issues with my IBS. I was stressed, tired and constantly chasing my tail to make sure I’d ticked everything off my to-do lists. Yes, I had plural lists. It was a shite time.

We had four suitcases to pack, wedding prep to finalise and about 25 friends and family members to meet at the airport. It was all too much for my stomach. Especially when you add travel sickness when flying into the mix.

I can however, happily report that although the holiday was full of drama (screw you hurricane Irma), not once did I have an IBS flare.

I mean, sure, I had those moments where I’d eaten a little too much spice and washed it down with a little too much rum which caused some loose movements but no bloating, no cramps, no pain at all and no shit storms.

It was heaven.

I felt normal.

Every morning I would put my bikini on and see myself looking back at me in the mirror. Magically, the same would happen at the end of the day when I got undressed. Me. Normal me, would be staring right back. Albeit with ever-changing tan lines. But not once did I see the 6-month bloated version who looks and feels shite all the time.

I even indulged in some foods I would normally avoid at home. I had pecan pie, scrambled eggs (made with real milk), onion, garlic, curries and things that I had no clue what was in them.

And I was fine.

Because it’s all about balance. And managing stress levels. And on holiday, I’m a pro at that. But as soon as we arrived back home, the picturesque scene I’ve just painted all came to a pretty sharp end.

To be fair, there were several contributing factors.

I got bad travel sickness during the flight home and then I tried to do everything at once when I got back. Washing. Cleaning. The bunny. Rearranging a shelving unit. Decorating our living room with all our wedding cards.

On top of that, I didn’t really eat for 12 hours. So no surprise that my IBS kicked off like a toddler who’s told she can’t have the toy she’s after. I got the shits, the bloating, the cramps, the mouth ulcers, the lethargy, everything. It all came back with a vengeance.

All because I didn’t listen to my body.

That’ll teach me.

Mr and Mrs Coates
Category Beach Wedding Vibes, anitgua, beach wedding, bride, husband, wedding
Description: WE DID IT! On Friday, 8th September 2017, Al and I got married. I became a […]  more...

WE DID IT! On Friday, 8th September 2017, Al and I got married. I became a wife, Al a husband and together we became Mr and Mrs Coates.

Saying all of the above gives me weird tingles and still sounds so surreal. Do you ever get used to calling someone your husband?!

The wedding was epic and magical but not without its fair share of dramas due to Hurricane Irma and then José. Fortunately, we were on the south of Antigua, which didn’t take as much of a hit. The staff and hotel were amazing and our family and friends were troopers while we waited to see how we could pull it off. And we did, just a day later than planned. Amazingly we were able to go ahead with our plans to marry on the dock followed by having our reception on the beach.

There are so many highlights from the day that I want to document properly but jet lag is currently messing with my mind and my bloody IBS and I feel I won’t do it justice right now.  I will however tell you this:

  • It felt like all of the hotel guests had turned out to watch our wedding after hearing all about it in the build up and during the hotel lock in for hurricane Irma.
  • The heavens opened for a downpour as we were about to sign the paperwork and everyone ran to the bar to take cover – The locals told us this was a good luck blessing.
  • Our guests sat with the waves lapping at their feet during the reception due to the storm surge from Hurricane Jose.
  • Steel drummers played Bob Marley while Al and danced barefoot in the sand surrounded by friends and family for our first dance.

I cannot wait to share our official wedding pics as Paul Mockford did the most amazing job.

Photo courtesy of my amazing bestie, Cheryl.

11 Things That Made July Bloody Awesome
Category My Inner Ramblings, july, memories
Description: July was a monster of a month with several long weekends, my epic hen do and […]  more...

July was a monster of a month with several long weekends, my epic hen do and a water fight with a 5-year old.

1. I started July with a blissful long weekend while Al went away on his stag do. It was most definitely needed as I had a bad bout of IBS to contend with and a lot of sleep to catch up on.

2. We had a big family BBQ for my auntie’s birthday in her back garden, complete with all the Pimms.

3. Said BBQ also included a water fight with my 5-year old nephew. Which I lost.

4. Digging into fish and chips with a side order of vino alongside two of my besties.

5. Got my hair coloured, trimmed and added in a nice treatment ahead of the holiday.

6. Treated myself to a LVL lash lift and am loving not having to do anything to my lashes at all.

7. A shopping with my mum for wedding bits resulted in me coming home with two new tops, not for the wedding.

8. My bridesmaids threw me the BEST hen do. I drank all the cocktails, danced on the table and did the limbo.

9. And then I had another long weekend to recover from my antics.

10. I received a delivery of three 6ft inflatable palm trees, the start of our decorations for our UK party.

11. Feeling like this little ol’ wedding is finally coming together.

Counting Down to the Best Day Ever
Category Fashion... Darling, Sweetie, antigua, beach wedding, wedding
Description: Now I don’t want to sound alarmed but I get married in 42 days and that’s […]  more...

Now I don’t want to sound alarmed but I get married in 42 days and that’s not very far away now. Eeeeeeeeeeek.

The good thing is that through planning this wedding, I’ve become somewhat of an organisational wizard. And this isn’t something I’ve ever perfected in my personal life. I’m the kinda gal that double books, forgets things constantly unless they’re written down and is slightly unreliable when it comes to making plans. However, give me a wedding and I become a ninja control freak.

You see, we have all the standard bits covered:

  • I have a dress. And dates for fittings
  • I have shoes. Which may or may not be completely impractical for my surroundings
  • Al has shorts
  • And a shirt
  • We’ve paid for the majority of things
  • We’ve got a photographer
  • We have a wedding planner as part of the deal who organises everything else
  • Blah, blah, blah

But I haven’t stopped there. My new-found organisational skills have gone one step further. You see, I’ve started packing favours and name cards into Tupperware so it’s ready to go into our new suitcase.

I’ve written a wedding speech (screw you tradition) and have been practicing it relentlessly. Although I can’t read it without crying yet.

I’ve even typed up a packing list, planned most of my outfits and am currently looking to mail out a wedding who’s who guide we’ve made, so our guests can get to know each other before being trapped on a plane together.

I am on organisational fire people.

Due to the above reasons, I feel relaxed (until I look at the daily countdown which gives me excited palpitations), am fairly on top of things and bloody raring to go! Like seriously, take me on holiday now!

Bring it on. #alexandjogetmarried

The Joy of Dressing Like a Giant Child
Category Fashion... Darling, Sweetie, animal print, outfit, polka dots, tassels
Description: The other morning, I pulled on the clothes I’d laid out the night before and […]  more...

The other morning, I pulled on the clothes I’d laid out the night before and was about to leave the house when I realised I’d dressed like a giant child.

I had on a super old, voluminous polka dot cami, skinny jeans and my beloved new animal print tassel sandals. My outfit looked bright, colourful, playful and a bit nuts. Like a child who’d been caught rummaging in mum’s wardrobe.

But I kinda liked it.

Throwing on all the prints you own is fun. And for me, that’s what fashion is all about. Plus, while wearing an outfit like this, you will have a permanent smile on your face.

Animal Print and Tassels Are My Two Favourite Things; Say Hello to My New Sandals
Category Beach Wedding Vibes, Fashion... Darling, Sweetie, animal print, marks and spencers, shoes, tassels
Description: You know that feeling when you spot a fugly shoe and feel instantly that they […]  more...

You know that feeling when you spot a fugly shoe and feel instantly that they were made for you and that it’d be a crime not to get them. I had that with these sandals.

You see, my four main sartorial loves in life involve animal print, sequins, tassels and pom poms. These sandals comfortably tick two of those boxes. Which is how they’ve ended up in my possession and on my feet.

In fact I received a call from my cousin while she was stood in Marks and Spencers in front of the shoes, saying that they were some sandals with my name on. After I laughed and told her if they were the ones I was thinking of I already had them, she remarked that she either knows me really well or that I’ve become predictable. Both of which are true.

They’ve received both compliments and abuse, and I’m open to that. I like how they’re bold enough to demand attention.

I don’t even mind how naked and exposed they make my toes look.

Want the good news? They’re now on sale for £20! GO!


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